"Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you." -- John De Paola
After working three days straight in a new day job, I was exhausted and as a "tired me" does...craving sweet food and early night. But those three days were also precious hours working away from my two year old son, and as I picked him up this sunny Friday afternoon... his demeanour was less than sunny, towards me.
So what to do... I shook of my fatigue, picked up a chocolate McFlurry icecream with two spoons and drove home via our local park. His face lit up, my mood lifted, we raced each other across the dry summer grass to get to the play area and I found peace in melted vanilla icecream, and the sway of an orange teddy bear swing.
I chatted with other parents, he enjoyed a game of jungle gym tag with a few local children and we both went home - happy with ourselves and each other.
Tonight in the midst of re-organising my studio room and the mounting chaos of computer files and folders... I stopped work and lay in the glow of my small child's night light beside him. How very often I am thinking of something else while talking to him, doing something else while entertaining him... and am I really getting further ahead... or leaving something valuable behind?
It takes only a glimpse of his soft cheek on his pillow to remind me of the briefness of the innocence and tranquility of childhood... and how willing he is to share this with me and this window of opportunity is now open... but all too soon it will be closed. My resolution for tomorrow and the days that follow is to hold this thought dear, and slow down, be in the moment, allow the making of memories to be what drives me.
This doesn't mean however, that I shall be silent at Art Out Loud NZ or giving up teaching any time soon. These things too make me who I am and enable my creative energy to fire and spark. And I am thankful.
I will simply be looking forward to smoothing my artistic processes, decluttering my workload and moving (perhaps slowly) towards achievable milestones this year, while prioritising time with my family, friends and freedom.
"Slow down you're doing fine, you can't be everything you want to be... before your time." --Billy Joel